Fish = sea kittens in crazy, crazy PETA-land

I KNOW they want publicity, but I can’t resist. PETA’s new Save the Sea Kittens campaign is a spectacular example of…of…of…something that only David Foster Wallace could have adequately described. Clearly, some pot-addled intern was like, “DUDE! If we, like, said that fish were like kittens, nobody would, like, eat them. Cause kittens are cute ‘n’ stuff!”

On the Sea Kittens homepage, you can create your own Sea Kitten. (My officemate named his “Chum.”) You can also read “sea kitten bedtime stories” about the sad, desperate, and factually bereft lives of fish, erm, sea kittens. One example:

Tony the Trout is the smartest Sea Kitten in his school. Already litter-trained at 2 months old, Tommy went on to double-major in neuroscience and environmental studies at Clamford University, eventually graduating with honors.

When Tony is caught and fed to a precocious young child who, having eaten one mercury-filled sea kitten too many, falls to the bottom of his class, the irony is not lost on him.

Ah, the smell of scare-mongering is even better than that of fried trout! And don’t they mean fresh-water-kittens? Oh, never mind.

Even on their more serious-ish webpage, PETA does not call fish anything but “sea kittens.” This leads to awesome headlines like “Scientific American: Ocean Sea Kittens Feeling Effects of Recreational Anglers.”

Oh yes, seafood IS the scariest food, but only because PETA has helped me realize how delicious my land kittens would taste with tartar sauce.

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81 Responses to Fish = sea kittens in crazy, crazy PETA-land

  1. Kate says:

    Wow. That’s the lamest campaign out of PETA yet. At least they could have some more fish… like Roughy or something…

    I have to admit, I made mine. http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg170/katempest/3840af2e.jpg

    but only to appease my daughters. Can’t you tell?

  2. jebyrnes says:

    Suddenly my Siamese looks kinda tasty….

    I think this campaign is having the opposite of its intended effect.

  3. Sam says:

    I am speechless. I just watched the “facts” refresh over and over with my jaw wide open and drool coming out.

    “Most ichthyologists — scientists who specialize in sea kitten biology — agree that this is just about the cutest thing ever.” Oh god.

  4. […] be clear, I do not think that catfish are sea kittens. For me, it isn’t about the ethics of eating animals or if fish have feelings too. And I am not […]

  5. Mike says:

    >> sea Kittens…. That has got to be the lamest thing that i have ever heard. I can think of one thing that will eat a sea kitten and a fresh water kitten, my land kitten lolz. >> maybe that means its okay to eat land kittens as well. Any ways, i doubt that trying to call fish sea kittens will pass. >> might as well call fish chicken of the sea.

  6. Daviid says:

    Hey I love my Bonia Coulda!!!!!

    without the clothes!!!

  7. Munchies says:

    Totally agree with your point but I gotta take issue with the pot-addled intern. Munchies lead to more eating not less. My pot-addled mind only ever thought of Fish in the Stick form. MMMM with ketchup.

  8. MN says:

    As someone on another forum said, it worked really well for hot dogs didn’t it?

    PETA is misguided, misinformed, and hypocritical, but they have taken stupid to new levels.

  9. gretta says:

    Oh, I love PETA. I check their site to get a good laugh sometimes in the morning. I liked your article, thanks :D

  10. Pork says:

    Nothing ever really quite says you’ve gone absolutely pants-on-head crazy like calling a fish a sea kitten. If you want to make a point, I don’t know… Don’t try naming it something more appealing. What’s next? Cows have bad PR so we’re renaming the entire species “large roaming grassland hamsters”? Plus not to mention how many confused kids there would be when it comes to sorting animals in biology into corresponding groups,(class, phylum, genus, and species) should this actually be accomplished (but it won’t). Good Job PETA, for futhering the retardation of our misguided youth.

  11. Paula says:

    PETA needs to understand that calling fish “sea kittens” probably has to be the dumbest thing on the planet.

    It makes you think that all of the people at PETA are insane. I’m not saying that everything they do is dumb, but “sea kittens’?

    They should fire whoever thought of that lame idea. Unless they are only referring to catfish offspring but catfish don’t live in the sea. So their offspring would be muddy water, muck eating kittens-not as cute.

  12. Sara says:

    Plants have feelings too, should plants be next? Why don’t we just stop eating altogether! Sheesh PETA has sunk to a new level of dumbness! Anyway, their site was fun to explore, and I saw Samy, our tonight’s dinner salmon, and made a picture of him! Oh he smells so good bathed in that thick aromatic sauce of lemon & diced garlic & fresh cilantro & dill weed! mmmm :)

  13. mom says:

    I’ve always wondered if peta will ever reach the only humane way to go is cannibalism…wouldn’t dare kill any other species.

  14. rachel says:

    I LIKE TO EAT FISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THEY ARE GOOD FOR MY BELLY AND GOD PUT THEM ON THIS EARTH SO WE COULD EAT THEM!!!

  15. TheNextDylan says:

    Mercury is a huge problem in seafood, but that is coming from actual scientists. My friend’s husband, who was a fisher, died of mercury poisoning after years of eating the fish. However, only PETA would be crazy enough to run this silly campaign where they put cat costumes on fish. Don’t cats eat fish? I guess that’s why they didn’t call it a cat fish! Bah-dumb.

  16. Sonly Son says:

    Hi. I just want to point out that I was on the sea kitten website and I noticed that they look a lot like fish. Oh, wait. That’s because they ARE fish.
    This is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard. Do they realize that even if we do start calling them sea kittens that that’s just going to be the name? They’re still going to be slippery, slimy, and delicious (drool). So get that into your head! And by the way, this is America, so I have the right to be an asshole. Here’s the difference between a kitten and a fish. A kitten is a baby cat which is a four legged mammal of the feline family. They are wild animals and sometimes called cubs but they can also be domestic. Why don’t people eat them? Well, the Egyptians don’t eat them because they were revered as Gods. And I imagine that cats probably don’t taste very good. I mean have you ever seen a dog attack AND eat a cat? I have not. The reason that we eat fish (Hey, PETA, you guys ever hear of something called a CAT FISH? Yeah, they already thought of that. Jackpot. You lose.) is because they are high in protein, vitamins and minerals! And what happens when we have none of those? We DIE! I gotta go. I just got some lemon juice over my eye. Mmm. This sea kitten is delicious. (Drool)

  17. Kadgi says:

    I have nothing against vegetarianism, i would be one if i wasn’t so lazy… The thing is PETA is really drowning herself -in seakitten land, i must add. The company is relying on pie-targeting Lindsay Lohan and sea kittens? With all the money they have, is that all they can do? The “rather naked than fur” campaign was good, where it’s at?

  18. Fred says:

    What’s next, teaching fish not to eat other fish…er, sea kittens?

    I made one..it’s named WhaleBait.

    I also filled out their form to the US Fish & Wildlife Service. Except, I changed the text from PETA’s suggested text to a PETA slam.

    They’re idiots.

    Screw you, PETA.

  19. Ryan says:

    I could stop eating “sea kittens”, but then I would have to start eating Land Fish, and Air Beef

  20. Dylan says:

    “their form to the US Fish & Wildlife Service.” I spell checked that generic garbage theirs 4 misspelled words. it’s just another faze or step for ignorant people to feel self richous about life. Peta is the most hypocritically ignorant organization I’ve ever heard

  21. dudegutarman says:

    this is unnecessary. peta is being foolish. the reason we eat and catch fish is because they are nutritious and for many people fun to catch. next theyll try to make people stop feeding rats to their pet snakes and replace them with meat-flavored homogeneous yogurt,
    ugh.

  22. Erica says:

    I just need to know if this makes my cats cannibal or perhaps landfish? And what do sea kittens grow up to be?

  23. GJ says:

    I think I vomited a little inside when I saw their campaign.
    A) Fish don’t look anything like those picture… they don’t have cat costumes… oh dear, I just had an image of Paris Hilton carrying a trout dressed as a kitten in her handbag… is that what they want???
    b) If they think nobody would hurt/eat a kitten they should go to China
    c) Just… f***ing stupid… it’s true that words have connotations which can subtely influence the way we think about things, but I really can’t see some undereducated, ignorant hick/money-grabbing fish industry going “Oh, wait, we can’t kill fish… they’re SO CUTE!! I never realised that they were so fluffy and feline until I saw these little flash animations… yeah, cancel the fishing expedition and close the company”…

    A fish by any other name tastes as sweet (Shakespeare – paraphrased)

    What about Finding Nemo??? Surely that kind of thing will be MUCH more effective that Sea Ki… I can’t even say it!!!! Get people into SCUBA diving, let them realise how beautiful fish are, and educate them about the ecosystem!
    We shouldn’t fish because mercury is toxic and fishing damages the ecosystem… a much more effective deterrent than “oh no, but they’re so cute!”

  24. lucas huggins says:

    oh my.. ONLY IN AMERICA! This is why so many other countries hate America, only this kind of stuff spews from rich white-ass (you know its probably only white people, not to be racist) spoiled girls. I mean.. who else? Do that not have ANYTHING better to do?
    This organization better not be government funding or omg.. I’m not caring about any activities any longer.
    Mercury is dangerous and eating too much fish can be very dangerous, so shouldn’t that mean they should invest in the cause of the high amounts of mercury? To prevent that from happening?
    In other countries that’s all they have to eat really. Although large corperations don’t scrape the bottom of the oceans there destroying everything. They should push for ocean scraping (forgot the correct name) to be prevented and invest in lowering mercury levels, not wasting money on this!
    Ga so many more important things in the world are going on! So many things WAY worse! Everyone tries to devert peoples attention to what they think is SO important. White-ass spoiled ass girly people. Ran by 13 year old teens and soccer moms who have never wiped there own butts

  25. anti-nonsense says:

    Absolutely hilarious.

    I agree that it would probably be better if more people were vegetarians, and it would definitely be better if people ate less meat in general but this is NOT the way to go about convincing people not to eat meat.

    It’s just plain silly.

  26. null says:

    The only relabeling that will come from this campaign will be in jest and a mockery of what PETA intends. I will enjoy eating “sea kittens” from this day onward.

  27. itsalljustaride says:

    I think PETA is doing more to make PETA irrelevant than any counter-vegan organization or body could ever do. Especially when they, in one fell swoop, replace every instance of “fish” with “sea kitten” on their website. I imagine the editorial and management staff has been slowly replaced by vapid, child-like, former kindergarten teachers. Somewhere the more serious of their crowd are hanging themselves in embarrassment.

    Also, where do sweater kittens fit now on the taxonomy? Are they a subset of land or sea?

  28. Nadine says:

    What happens when sea kittens grow up to be sea cats? Can we eat them then? Or do they get to be called “sailfish” then?

  29. Rachael says:

    haha when I told my dad this he said, “oh good! I’ve always wanted to eat a kitten but they’re just too cute!”

  30. REAPER says:

    I’m gonna walk past the lady who runs peta with my chichilla fur on and my fishing pole in hand a plate of southern fried catfish, a bag of my sea kittens that i raised…. wait they are not sea kittens they are Cyprichromis leptosoma.
    Fishing promotes conservation. nearly all the money that fishing licences make go to preservation of the seas and rivers and lakes.
    And as a tropical fish enthusist this infurates.
    Stupid blonde soccer moms.

  31. Casey says:

    Well, this certainly was counter-effective. I’m starving now….a big plate of salmon and rice sounds great, or grilled tilapia with a mango and hot pepper salsa. Or even just some steamed fish with ginger and lemon from the local Chinese joint.

    Thanks, PETA.

  32. Bugfrog says:

    If you watch the “facts” refresh, one of them says “A University of Edinburgh study found that sea kittens can retain information that they learned up to 11 months earlier, which makes them cuter and smarter than the president of the United States!”

    Gosh, they must really hate Obama, or they just can’t remember there was an election a few months ago. Guess sea kittens are smarter than PETA also. Should have hired a Sea Kitten web development firm.

  33. DogTags says:

    Remember Sea Monkeys? These were sold in the 60s and 70s. They were brine shimp. I’ll bet PETA will call shrimp “sea monkeys” next. Sea kittens? Are you stoned, or just stupid? Fire that PR shop of yours.

    Another analogy for PETA:

    A seed is living organism capable of producing another plant, and more seeds, and more plants. Alright, PETA, stop eating beans. You are depriving those beans of the right to reproduce other plants, and you are annilating entire generations of future plants by eating seeds. Soybeans, pinto beans, all have the right to reproduce. Your eating these seeds is genocide, and you have no right to exterminate future generations of nitrogen-fixing, earth-enriching, wildlife-sustaining Earth resources for your own selfish needs.

    Fucktards. All that money sent to you, and this is what you do with it. Rank amateurs. “Sea kittens.” RIP, PETA. Let a better organization rise from your ashes.

  34. Anthony Draper says:

    Okay, so sea kittens live under water and we eat them… does anyone here have a good recipe for barbecued land fish? What the hell, PETA?

  35. irradiatus says:

    I will never have this opportunity: However, if the opportunity arises I will open a seafood restaurant and serve nothing but sea kittens.

    Every menu item will have the words “sea kittens.”

  36. scott says:

    I don’t know about you guys but now I’m hungry for a land Kitten, I wonder if it’ll taste like fish.

  37. Kaitis says:

    A fish by any other name would still taste as delicious.

  38. GCV says:

    I am trying to add more sea kittens to my diet. I find that land dolphins are hard to digest and I am tired of air squirrels.

  39. GCV says:

    So calling fish sea kittens is supposed to revolt us into not eating fish.

    So then why does PETA have “veggie dog” eating contests? Surely calling vegetables dogs would revolt them into not eating vegetables?

    http://blog.peta.org/archives/2007/06/veggie_dog_eati.php

    It just goes to show how nutty the folks at PETA are. Darn, now I am calling people nuts – a source of food. Hopefully this won’t cause any vegetarians to suddenly view humans as a delicious source of protein.

  40. Sonly Son says:

    There are such things as air squirrels. They’re called flying squirrels.

  41. GCV says:

    Are they delicious?

  42. Batboy says:

    I wonder if PETA has there own version of the bible where Christ feeds the 5000 with 2 loaves and 5 sea kittens….or do they simply censor that story all together?

  43. […] story, along with a recent tangential debate over at Southern Fried Science and PETA’s “sea kittens” campaign, sent my mind down a familiar path – one that anyone working in biology inevitably travels from […]

  44. Heather says:

    My friend Tony got bit by a sea kitten once.
    Nearly killed him.
    Or was it a sea lion?
    WAIT!
    Those already exist!
    DAMN!
    What will we call sharks now?
    They are so cute and need to live out there cute scaly lives in peace!

  45. Leo - the lion says:

    All in favor of changing lions to land sharks?

  46. Flu-Bird says:

    PETA is stupid i mean what will they want us to call chickens FEATHERED KIDS i mean we should call PETA for what it realy is STUPID

  47. Flu-Bird says:

    HYUK,HYUK,HYUK SEA LIONS,SEAGULLS,PELICANS,TERNS,GANNETS,LARGE FISH AND HUMANS EAT PLETLY OF SEA KITTENS HYUK,HYUK,HYUK

  48. D says:

    we’re going out for delicious sea kittens in about ten minutes.
    raw, just the way we like them. with a bit of ginger and a lil seaweed blankie.

    in case you haven’t seen it- http://www.petakillsanimals.com the “save the Sea Kittens” campaign is even sicker when you realize they kill over 90% of the animals they take in. yeah, I said KILL. and for no good reason. at least we’re eating the fish.

    oh, and PETA? I’ve got an IQ over 150 and have enjoyed fresh water and salt water kitties my entire life. maybe if you guys had a good steak once in a while you might actually come up with something that wouldn’t make you such a hypocritical joke.

  49. Flu-Bird says:

    HEY PETA JERKS DOSE THAT MEAN GORDON LIGHTFOOT WHO WROTE AND PREFORMS WRECK OF THE EDMUND FITZGERALD WILL HAVE THE CHANGE THE ONE LINE IN HIS BALLAD TO THE SEARCHERS ALL SAY THEYED MADE WHITE SEAKITTEN BAY I DOUBT IF ANYONE WOULD EVER CHANGE THE NAME FOR A BUNCH OF WUUSIE TUSSIES SPACED OUT ON DOPE AND MINDLESS RAMBLINGS

  50. Flu-Bird says:

    GORTONS SEAKITTEN STICKS HYUK,HYUK,HYUK SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK

  51. Tom in Portsmouth says:

    Yeah, okay, so maybe the whole sea kitten thing is a little silly. But after reading all the comments posted here, I think you people are the ones without a frickin’ brain! This is what passes for wit? Wow. Enjoy your bacon and your McNuggets, and don’t give a thought to anything else on the planet except yourself. How very sad!

  52. Flu-Bird says:

    TOM YOUR BRAIN IS ON VACATION SINCE YOU SUPPORT PETA

  53. Flu-Bird says:

    TOM YOUR STARK RAVING STUPID

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