The Oyster’s Garter

Miriam is so swamped with work she has to look up to see the lilly pads, and I’m off at a work-related conference. So even though each of the following recent technological advances or scientific discoveries are probably worth a humorous sonnet or two, I’ll just rattle them off in round-up form:

• Scientists at the University of Missouri-Columbia and the U.S. Army have developed tiny little cancer-seeking nanobombs. If they work right, these little babies would essentially swim up to cancer sells and blow up, launching particles at 1500 - 2,300 meters per second. But since they’re nano, the wouldn’t have much force (F=ma). Really putting our faith in these guys with this one, right? ETA: two to five years. [via Engadget]

• Men, try to imagine this: a remote control sperm flow regulator. Researchers at the University of Adelaide have developed a tiny little switch that would go inside the vas deferens and act as a gate to keep the little swimmers from escaping. The theory is it provides men a “grace period” to decide if they really wanted that vasectomy (They need to be considering a vasectomy anyway, because the gate sometimes get jammed shut). To prevent a guy’s gate from getting switched by, say, the microwave, the gate would only respond to a specific code, like a car key does. I also want to know how they remember if the switch is open or shut. I mean, what if you double click the remote by mistake, but don’t realize it? Or worse, what if your kid gets a hold of it? Or your fraternity siblings? <Shudder> ETA: 5-10 years.

• The latest attempt at an electric car, the Tesla, has been exempted by the feds from rules requiring advanced technology airbags. I love the notion of electric cars, but hey guys, safety first, eh? ETA: this year. [Also via Engadget]

• Engineers can code DNA to build tiny crystal structures on their own. Which means the Diamond Age isn’t so far off after all. ETA: Unknown.

I have naught but curse words for the Democrats running Congress. In an age when every grassroots gear is turning towards finding ways to produce energy cheaply, without pollution, and without dependence on nations whose governments embrace abhorrent ideals, Congress has decided not to renew crucial solar and wind energy subsidies in the energy bill passed the other day. Apparently it was part of the deal that raised car mileage standards so that by 2020 the average mpg of the American fleet will be 35 mpg. This is predicted to reduce carbon emissions by all of 9%.

Hey Nancy, Harry - check it out: The price of oil is driving people to buy more fuel efficient cars, anyway. And government subsidies in Germany and Japan are driving those countries to develop this renewable energy sources so fast that Germany is on the verge of *reducing* those subsidies - because they’re market competitive. How about standing up for some principles for once?

But, ever the optimist and believer in technology, I also discovered that a company backed by Google, called Nanosolar, made a breakthrough in production that lowers the cost of panels dramatically. Even without subsidies, the panels will allow a solar power facility to be built that produces electricity at the same $2-per-watt that a coal plant would cost. The company has already begun production at its plant in San Jose. So there’s still hope.

A group of Chinese scientists think they can use carbon nanotubes in shifting layers to actually create an invisibility cloak. The theory of it was proven last year, when a separate team of scientists found they could render a very small object invisible to a microwave, but it required very precise positioning of the tubes. The Chinese scientists are saying they can layer the nanotubes to achieve the effect of invisibility to regular light waves. The shifting of the layers will not reflect much light, in fact light will bend around it.  The real question is how they’re going to get the nanotubes to surround an entire Klingon Bird of Prey, and then recede so they can fire their photon torpedoes. Obviously important practical problems still remain.